Unicorn Quotes


Funny Unicorn Quotes

“Me? Crazy? I should get down off this unicorn and slap you!”

“When I look at myself in the mirror, I see a unicorn……a badass unicorn!”

“Someone told me to grow up yesterday. I immediately banned that person from ever riding my unicorn!”

“A friend told me I’m delusional. I almost fell off my unicorn.”

“So when he asked me if my tattoos hurt, I just smiled and sweetly said “Oh no honey…. mine were licked on by baby unicorns…” Dumbass…..”

“I wish I were a unicorn, so I could stab idiots with my head!”

“Always be yourself. Unless you can be a unicorn….then always be a unicorn!”

“Rhinos are just fat unicorns. If we’d give them the time and attention they deserve, as well as a diet: they’d reveal their majestic ways.”

“Unicorns are real! They’re just fat and grey and we call the rhinos.”

“Keep calm and ride a unicorn.”

“Everything is better with a unicorn.”

“Being a person is getting too complicated. Time to be a unicorn.”

“Woman don’t fart. They do however shoot tiny puffs of glitter that sound like a unicorns laughter and smell like rainbows.”

“It’s going to be a rainbow and unicorns kind of day.”

“The best part of my day is when my pills kick in! I love unicorns!!”

“You may have stopped believing in unicorns, but they never stopped believing in you.”

“Unicorns can’t fly. I can’t fly. Therefore I am a unicorn.”

“It’s not a unicorn. It’s a horse with a sword on its head that protects my hopes and dreams.”

“Well at least unicorns love me.”

“Only 2% of the world has red hair. So I’m basically a majestic unicorn!”

“May your day be more beautiful than a unicorn farting rainbows.”

“Unicorns are awesome. I am awesome, therefore I am a unicorn.”

“Missing unicorn: If you find it, you are probably high!”

“Comic sans is never an appropriate font unless you are an 8 year old girl writing poems about unicorns.”

Literary Unicorn Quotes

“Now I will believe that there are unicorns…”

– William Shakespeare; The Tempest

“Dreams are the playground of unicorns.”

– Unknown

“The best use for a unicorn’s horn is to adorn a unicorn.”

Benevolent Unicorn, Magic the Gathering Card

“God himself must needs be traduced, if there is no unicorn in the world.”

– Edward Topsell

“Unicorns don’t care if you believe in them any more than you care if they believe in you.”

Regal Unicorn, Magic the Gathering Card

“The hunt of the unicorn. The evaluation of our souls.”

– Unknown

“All the beasts obeyed Noah when he admitted them into the ark. All but the Unicorn. Confident of his own abilities, he boasted “I shall swim””.

– Ukrainian Folktale

“The unicorn, the beautiful white horse with the magical horn that heals.”

– Unknown

A wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn

– Tibetan proverb

“Unicorn. Old French, unicorne. Latin, unicornis. Literally, one-horned: unus, one and cornu,a horn. A fabulous animal resembling a horse with one horn.”

– Peter S. Beagle; The Last Unicorn

“Then what is magic for?”

“What use is wizardry if it cannot save a Unicorn?”

– Peter S. Beagle; The Last Unicorn

“There’s unicorns all over everywhere, even Woodmont. You know that, I know that, maybe nobody else does. You look for them, you listen for the music, you listen for Shei’rah. It’s somewhere, you’ll find it, if you want to find it enough. You got time.”

– Peter S.Beagle; The Unicorn Sonata

“‘Do you know, I always thought unicorns were fabulous monsters, too? I never saw one alive before!’

‘Well, now that we have seen each other,’ said the unicorn, ‘if you’ll believe in me, I’ll believe in you.'”

– Lewis Carroll; Through the Looking Glass

“Each month the unicorns gathered at dusk to dance in a Circle under the full, dusky moon. They were the only race they knew of that did so. For when Alma made the world, she fashioned all the other creatures first, out of earth, wind, water, and air–then invited them to dance. But the pans turned wordless away from her, and the gryphons flew to find mountains to nest in, and the red dragons burrowed deep into the Smoking Hills, and the wyverns laughed.

So Alma created the unicorns after her own shape: sleek-bodied and long-limbed for swift running, wild-hearted and hot-blooded to make them brave warriors. Then she took from the cycling moon some of its shining stuff to fashion their hooves and horns and make them dancers. So the last-born and best-beloved of Alma called themselves also the moon’s children, and each month danced the ringdance under the round, rising moon.”

– Meredith Ann Pierce; Birth of the Firebringer

“Unicorns,” she whispered. Rahela nodded. “The most beautiful of all the Mother’s children.”

– Jennifer Roberson; The Court of the Summer King

“…and from the heart of the blossom there appeared a unicorn…”

– James Endicott

“…I can o’ersway him; for he loves to hear

That unicorns may be betray’d with trees,

And bears with glasses, elephants with holes,

Lions with toils and men with flatterers;

– William Shakespeare; Julius Caesar

“The unicorn”, she said, “was a marvelous beast, shining with honor, wisdom and strenth. Just to see him strengthened the soul.”

– Megan Lindholm; The Unicorn in the Maze

“In the night, night passed down the street…. She felt the terror of it, the magic, and the impossibility that it should be there or that she should go to it.

“What do you want?”

But the unicorn only moved through the village like the wind, silent, without music.

– Tanith Lee; Black Unicorn

“There was no violence, no speed. It moved to the rhythm of an elder dance, putting all the rituals of the world to shame. Black, silver, gold and moon-opal, night and sea, fire, earth, air and water.

– Tanith Lee; Black Unicorn

“I was bathing in a lake when I saw the unicorn…. It is an injustice to say merely that its coat was white. Oh, it was white, all right, but it was more than that. It was a white like I remember the best vanilla ice cream, but finer and smoother. Sometimes the sun hit it just right and bright rainbow crescents fanned out like light through a fine spray of water. The hooves were mirror bright- platinum or silver, I couldn’t tell. A distant lighthouse beacon on a lonely night, the spiral horn rose from the noble head: milky white, warm and welcoming…. Eyes full of life and intelligence. Eyes I could fall into. Lover’s eyes…. As it moved, the mane shimmered on its muscular neck like a road on a hot day.”

– Steven R. Boyett; Ariel

“I left the door open part way and got dressed, trying to imagine our neighbor’s reaction to having a unicorn bang on their door wanting to know where there’s a good shopping center.”

– Steven R. Boyett; Ariel

“You try reading fantasy books all your life – have a unicorn walk by your bus bench on a hot day, with everything you’ve ever wanted tied up in a neat bundle- and see if you wouldn’t do almost anything to have it.”

– Steven R. Boyett; Ariel

” ‘I thought unicorns were more … fluffy.’

‘See clear! Don’t let the glamour get you! See what’s in front of your eyes! It’s a damn great horse with a horn on the end!’ said Granny.”

– Terry Pratchett; Lords and Ladies

“When God created the earth, He made a river which flowed from the Garden of Eden… Then God told Adam to name the animals… And the first animal he named was the unicorn. When the Lord heard the name Adam had spoken, he reached down and touched the tip of the single horn growing from the animal’s forehead. From that moment on, the unicorn was elevated above other beasts.”

– Nancy Hathaway; The Unicorn

The unicorn was white, with hoofs of silver and graceful horn of pearl….The glorious thing about him was his eye. There was a faint bluish furrow down each side of his nose, and this led to the eye sockets, and surrounded them in a pensive shade. The eyes, circled by this sad and beautiful darkness, were so sorrowful, lonely, gentle and nobly tragic, that they killed all other emotions except love.

– T. H. White

“It was a heavy-boned face, with ridges etched in darkest walnut instead of gleaming highlights, and with odd, icy eyes that abruptly reminded her that unicorns were not Tame. Wild magic, free always, of what man might intend or wish for it.”

– Doranna Durgin; Touched By Magic

Touched it?! A mortal laid hand on a unicorn!?

– From the movie “Legend”

“Nothing is more magical…

As long as they roam the Earth, evil cannot harm the pure of heart.”

– From the movie “Legend”

“Once, long ago, before there was such a thing as time, the world was shrouded in darkness.

Then came the splendor of light, bringing life and love into the Universe, and the Lord of Darkness retreated deep into the shadows of Earth, ploting his return to power . . . by banishing light forever.

But precious light is protected, harbored in the souls of Unicorns, the most mystical of all creatures.

Unicorns are safe from the Lord of Darkness, they can only be found by the purest of mortals . . . Such a mortal is Jack, who lives in solitude with the animals of the forest.

A beautiful girl named Lily loves Jack with all her heart. In their innocence they believe only goodness exists in the world.

Together they will learn there can be no good without evil . . . no love without hate . . . no heaven without hell . . . no light without darkness.

The harmony of the Universe depends upon an enternal balance. Out of the struggle to maintain this balance comes the birth of Legends.”

– From the movie “Legend”

“The people that see them share some of the unicorn’s traits – they’re lonely… with virtuous hearts.”

– From Ally McBeal

“The unicorn is a lonely, solitary creature that symbolizes hope.”

– From Ally McBeal

“The unicorn is not known for it’s horn, beauty, or purity; But for it’s strength and courage as one”

– Nicole Beckwith

“The unicorn is not beautiful because of it’s horn, grace, pride, and quiet wisdom; But because of what it stands for”

– Nicole Beckwith

“I’ll capture gentle zebras / for your steeds and fill the stable with every kind of unicorn.”

Love Song of Night and Day

“Canst thou, O Death, not come as unicorn?”

– Wolfdietrich Schnurre

If the unicorn does live among the snows held up forever on the line of the Equator then it is clear why the world should know so little about him.

– Odell Shepard

“Their bodies are white, their heads dark red, and their eyes dark blue. They have a horn on the forehead which is about a foot and a half in length.”

– Ctesias; Indica, 416B.C

“To this day, it is said, malicious animals poison this water after sundown, so that none can thereupon drink it. But early in the morning, as soon as the sun rises, a unicorn comes out of the ocean, dips his horn into the water to expel the venom from it so that the other animals may drink thereof during the day. This as I describe it. I saw it with my own eyes.”

– Johannes van Hesse of Utrecht; 1389

“Toward noon we spotted an animal gazing down at us from a sterile mountain peak of red and black rocks… Our guide stated that the animal must certainly be a unicorn, and he pointed out to us the single horn which jutted from its forehead. With great caution we gazed back at this most noble creature, regretting it was no closer for us to examine still more minutely.”

– Friar Faber; 1438

“Then God told Adam to name the animals. All the creatures gathered around…..And the first animal he named was the unicorn.”

– from the Hokham Bible

“There are wild elephants in the country, and numerous unicorns which are nearly as big,..”

– Marco Polo

“The last unicorn wasn’t really the last. And maybe she still isn’t.”

– Laura Alden

“Wherever they may have come from, and wherever they may have gone, unicorns live inside the true believer’s heart. Which means as long as we can dream, there will be unicorns.”

– Bruce Coville

“The unicorn lived in a lilac wood, and she lived all alone. She was very old, though she did not know it, and she was no longer the careless colour of sea foam, but rather the colour of snow falling on a moonlit night. But her eyes were still clear and underwearied, and she still moved like a shadow on the sea. She did not look anything like a horned horse, as unicorns are often pictured, being smallen and cloven-hooved, posessing that oldest, wildest grace that horses have never had, that deer only have in a shy, thin imitation and goats in dancing mockery. Her neck was long and slender, making her head seem smaller than it was, and the mane that fell almost to the middle of her back was soft as dandilion fluff and as fine as cirrus. She had pointed ears and thin legs, with feathers of white hair at the ankles; and the long horn above her eyes shone and shivered with it’s own seashell light even in the deepest midnight. She had killed dragons with it, and healed a king whose poisoned wound would not close, and knocked down ripe chestnuts for bear cubs.”

– Peter S. Beagle – The Last Unicorn

“The unicorns were the most recognizable magic the fairies possessed, and they sent them to those worlds where belief in the magic was in danger of falling altogether. After all there has to be some belief in magic- however small- for any world to survive.”

– Terry Brooks – The Black Unicorn

“Of all the legendary animals of art, folklore and literature, the Unicorn is the one with the greatest hold on our imaginations. Other fabulous beasts are clearly inventions, existing only in a mythical landscape of our own collective creation. But the Unicorn strikes us as more than imaginary. It seems possible, even probable – a creature so likely that it ought to exist.”

– Nancy Hathaway

“The question of historicity and actuality with regard to gods and unicorns is a relatively trifling matter which may be left to antiquarians and biologists, for both the god and the unicorn had a business to perform greater than any mere existence in the flesh could explain or provide a basis for.”

– Odell Shepard, The Lore of the Unicorn

“Today it is said that the unicorn never existed. However, it is marvelously clear that when the unicorn was first described and centuries later when the tapestries were woven, everyone believed in unicorns.”

– Marianna Mayer, The Unicorn and the Lake